I guess it’s safe to say that much has happened in the last 2 months..
Reading my last blog post, it actually has been quite a while since it started. Just as I was hoping to hold things off for as long as possible, I was instead confronted with the reality of it all… and just days after that blog post -_- Did the “confrontation” come as a surprise? Well….. yes and no. It did happened sooner than I’d thought (or hoped). But things were pretty apparent so it was really just a ‘sooner or later’ thing. Just that I was hoping for it to be ‘later’. Haha..
So… I met a guy almost 10 years ago. We hung out for a bit with a group of other then-friends, and gradually lost contact..
We got reacquainted some two years ago and it maintained as a good-going-on-great friend basis. Somehow, it appeared that we shared many similar ideals in life and were almost always on the same frequency.. and that kinda made it difficult to not be such good friends. Probably the only one person who can understand and has heard of almost every little thing that I have ever ranted about since he started becoming my erm.. “outlet”. It’s surprising how he’s been able to withstand my constant nonsensical (good and/or bad) ramblings.. lol.
I could have sworn one year ago.. or even six months ago, I was still convinced that being good or best friends was the furthest we could ever be for the rest of this lifetime.. Oh, and that I stood a pretty good chance of being a ‘sister’ if and when he got married in future (whoever with and whenever that may be… lol). At some points in our closeness, while I’d never hoped/wanted for anything more than a friendship, it was still a possibility I’d never actually ruled out.
And then it happened.
While I still don’t exactly have all that much confidence in myself to believe that it will all work out, it’s …amazing how much confidence he has that it just will. I still have a million and one fears and ‘what-if’s and they continue to bug me every now and then… But I am trying my utmost to not think so/too much (without much success I think) into every little thing that happens or doesn’t happen.
May the force be with me. lol
